Stay Calm

 1.  take a deep breath
 2.  take notes while person is talking
 3.  ask questions
 4.  paraphrase to show understanding
 5.  ask for time to think it over
 6.  if person has “lost it”, simply end the conversation until they become more calm

Be Considerate

 7.  control your emotions
 8.  let them vent
 9.  remain calm & focused
10. put yourself in their shoes
11  watch your words, your messages & your body language

Be Clear

12.  separate problem from person
13.  listen to the information and the feelings
14.  speak clearly & say what you mean & what you want
15.  simply ask what they want

Be Collaborative

16.  take a problem-solving approach, look at needs not positions
17   consider if you should give in a little, so you both can “win”
18.  suggest options or alternatives
19.  if reach agreement summarize & confirm details
20.  or, agree to disagree, keep perspective and relationship in mind

©  Martha Dove and Associates